Am I a Freak of Nature?

                Am I that exceptional? I keep reading in the NY Times and listening on NPR, those bastions of liberal thought that humans are genetically/biologically hard wired to believe in the supernatural.  If so, my wiring must be really messed up.  T.M.Luhrmann’s recent article on the op-ed page  cites the high percentage of Americans who believe in various kinds of superstitions like angels, haunted houses, etc.  Citing the United States as the norm is absurd and I am pleased to report that 64% of the French are agnostic or atheist.  (Another reason, in addition to their vastly superior health and social services and food, to live there?)

                What really got me was a letter to the editor responding to the article by Professor Shane Sharp, whose studies showed that “Ms. Luhrmann’s claim that experiencing God’s realness is difficult may be correct; however, my research indicates that traumatic life events make God real.”  For the record, I neither cursed God, blamed God or asked for intervention from God, an angel or some higher power.  And not to make myself into a martyr, but I do consider a cancer diagnosis a “traumatic life event.”  What I don’t understand about these evolutionary biologists is why I don’t see studies from France, Scandinavia or other countries where levels of belief are comparatively lower.  Surely there will always be people who believe in God and various types of superstitions, but belief in a higher power clearly has a cultural component, can change over time, and Is not some sort of biological imperative.  Either that or the majority of the French, the Swedish and I are freaks of nature!  And while I remain an agnostic, the possible God I believe in is best described as the “Church of God, the Utterly Indifferent,” from Kurt Vonnegut’s The Sirens of Titan. (“The name of the new religion, said Rumfoord, is The Church of God the Utterly Indifferent. . . The two chief teachings of this religion are these: Puny man can do nothing at all to help or please God Almighty, and Luck is not the hand of God.”)

                Enough of my annoyances with these studies creating scientific justifications for faith.  I imagine many believers might also be annoyed by these studies.  Let’s get on with a discussion of my life, the reason most of you are probably reading this.  I got on the plane on the Thursday after my treatment and have not developed any superpowers.  I bought a bottle of 15 year old Bowmore Scotch whiskey in the duty free with my leftover Swiss Francs, got on the plane only to discover that my seat was next to a six year old boy.  Many of you might want to avoid a small child on airplane, but I was told to avoid contact with small children and pregnant women after my irradiation.  Fortunately, I spoke with a flight attendant and got another seat in the last row unfortunately near the bathrooms. C’est la vie.

                After I returned home, I found myself suffering from a constant fatigue and basically sat around the apartment from Friday-Monday watching lots of television, reconsidering Star Trek: Enterprise (all Star Trek TV series are now on Netflix instant) and watching the Monty Python six part documentary.  Later my friend Claudia and I watched “MontyPython’s Life of Brian” a classic satire on religion and Trotskyist political sects (a different form of religion?) .  I was able to return to work on Tuesday where I helped to edit and advise on our latest YouTube video, “Fiorello La GuardiaTakes a Sledge Hammer to Slot Machines: Let's Go to the VIDEO!”  La Guardia hated gambling and its effects on working class families. and cops frequently cleared out slot machines from stores in NYC during his tenure.  Fiorello would then have them put on a boat where he would ceremoniously take a hammer to them and have them dumped into Long Island Sound.  One does not have wonder much what La Guardia would have thought of Andrew Cuomo’s proposals for casino gambling or, for that matter, Cuomo in general.  After Cuomo came out against Bill de Blasio’s proposal of a modest tax increase to fund pre-K and after school programs, I came up with his new reelection slogan, “Andrew Cuomo, no millionaire he won’t kow tow to.”

                Last Saturday I decided I felt well enough for a 60 mile ride in Central New Jersey.  It was a beautiful day and a wonderful ride, but I wasn’t quite ready for it and came back exhausted. I fell asleep at 8:00 and woke up the next morning with a headache and still very tired.  I still had a headache that evening.  I’m not sure what the causes were: dehydration, post radiation effects or both, but I may have misjudged my recovery time.  I saw Dr. Yu on Monday and my blood work was pretty normal.  A couple of tests were slightly elevated, but looked good otherwise.  The plan for now is the Sandostatin shot I had already been receiving as my only treatment.  We talked about the possibility of chemoembolization to get at larger tumors on the liver, but we’ll wait and see.  We will have a clearer sense of things after my next CT Scan in mid-December and no scheduled doctor visits until then.  With any luck I will have a few years of peace from cancer and lead as normal a life as I am capable of in the interim.  Then it will be back to Basel in search of superpowers.