Dreams of Prostate Cancer

My dream is to live long enough to be diagnosed with prostate cancer. So why do I want another cancer. It’s not for extra Sloan Kettering hot chocolate, however tasty it might be. Nor is it for the possibility of extra radiation or chemotherapy, despite their inherent appeal. No, it’s based on the statistical certainty that all men will eventually get prostate cancer, so if I live long enough to have prostate cancer than I will have beaten the odds on neuroendocrine tumors. Many of you may not be aware that when I first got the cancer diagnosis, the oncologist in Brooklyn added a PSA test. The results were so high that I got to have a full prostate exam followed by a prostate biopsy. While I would have preferred a vacation to North Korea, in part because I am not a relative of Kim Jong-Un, the tests came back negative. What we later discovered was that the PSA test was a marker for my cancer, since it went to normal when my tumors shrunk.

That brings us to the good news. My blood tests are all normal or very close to normal and my PSA test has dropped and is now in the normal range. My cancer antigen test is still in the stratosphere, but has been dropping, leading to the conclusion that my cancer cells are still crying in pain. The bicycle barometer also indicates that I am in good health. I’ve been doing 19 mile rides with laps in Prospect Park and my last two weekend rides I did 54 and 46 miles. After getting my folding bicycle fixed, I have been commuting to work by bicycle. While this may seem slightly crazy given the cold, but by dressing in layers, a ski helmet and a balaclava it is actually much fun and I do not get cold. Anyone want to join me?

The day of discovery is drawing near. Next Tuesday I have my CT Scan and will see what the tumors are up to. I am hopeful, since, except for some mild pains in my back, I am feeling quite well. I have now had no chemotherapy since June and after recovery from the radiation, this is the longest stretch I have had of almost feeling normal. That is if you ignore the neuropathy and the periodic diarrhea, which can thankfully mostly be ignored. In any event, let’s hope for good news next week.

My final thought is that your life is never the same after you are diagnosed with incurable cancer. It’s a little like a Bar Mitzvah. “Today you are a man.” “Today you are a cancer patient.” Both are very important milestones in a person’s life. At one you read from the Torah, have a party and get gifts; the other you get radiation, chemotherapy and the near certainty of a shortened life. Okay, maybe they aren’t alike, except if you eat too much at the Bar Mitzvah party, you’ll get sick and vomit. Vomiting, that’s the connection!

As Good As It Gets

And the word of the Lord was good. I mean the nuclear medicine doctor. My blood work is markedly better than when I came here 2 months ago. The scans showed reduction of tumor size, especially in the liver. Absorption of the radiation was better than the last time, which was quite good. Doctor Wild thought that I could see shrinkage or stability of the tumors for 1-2 years, maybe more. I will need a follow up scan in 10 weeks and bi weekly blood work, which will show how this treatment worked. Because there were no significant effects to my bone marrow or kidneys, I should have no trouble repeating this treatment when necessary. A woman who was being treated with me is on her 5th visit. He also said that I should continue on the Sandostatin and perhaps consider chemo or radio embolization of my liver. When I see Dr. Yu in two weeks I'll talk it over with him.

Basically my response to treatment was as good as it gets.

In terms of other effects, I've had short bits of low level nausea, but the Zofran keeps it under control. I think the Emend has also made a significant difference. My appetite is good and energy levels are relatively high. I think I am mostly over the jet lag. I had dinner with Charlie and Sylvia at an Italian restaurant near the hospital and we took a walk along the Rhine. If you look at my Facebook page,Sylvia's photos should be there. I get out tomorrow morning and then its on to visit Roman ruins outside the city. Then we are off to Zurich and 10:00 plane to JFK on Thursday.

Maybe there is hope for a ripe old age yet. Until then back to planning ridiculously grueling bicycle rides. Gaps of Vermont this summer anyone? http://youtu.be/QOcyIuFo8P4 (I think this would be a two day ride for me.)

DESCRIPTION
"131 miles, 6 major climbs & 12,000* feet of elevation gain! I went out on a beautiful day, with temps in the 80's. I started around 10:30am and finished around 8 hours later. Elizabeth followed me along in the truck and captured the footage that you see here.The 6 gaps are, Brandon Gap, Middlebury Gap, Lincoln Gap (24% grade), Appalachian Gap, Roxbury Gap & the Rochester Gap."

Prayer for an Oncologist

Shana Tovah!  To all you gentiles that’s Happy New Year

Its true we Jews have been working on the academic calendar for more than 5,700 years and this year Chanukah starts on Thanksgiving giving us a month’s head start in the gift competition with Christians.  I know we Jews will lose in the end to all but Jehovah’s Witnesses, who don’t celebrate the birth of Jesus that coincidentally coincides with the Roman holiday of Saturnalia, but we Jews can gloat for a month while Christians await their cornucopia of gifts as capitalists  inundate all of us with endless advertising and possibilities of grotesque consumption.

I digress again.  Rosh Hashanah is thankfully mostly devoid of consumerism, although I am waiting to see what the consumer capitalist economy can do to exploit Yom Kippur, perhaps developing pills which will make our stomachs full for 25 hours.  Who needs to wish people an easy fast when you can sell them a pill to really make it easy?

This year’s dilemma: how does the agnostic cancer patient celebrate Rosh Hashanah?  Tonight we recited the shehechehyanu, a prayer thanking God “for giving us life, sustaining us, and enabling us to reach this season.”  As someone who doesn’t believe in God, how do I make this prayer relevant to me?  I decided that it needed a rewrite.  To whom should I give thanks?  I thought for a brief moment and it came to me, my oncologist.  So here is my universal prayer, appropriate for all special occasions, for non-believing cancer patients everywhere.

Baruch atah onkolog shelanu  shehechehyanu, v'kiy'manu, v'higianu laz'man hazeh.

Blessed art thou our oncologist for giving us life, sustaining us, and enabling us to reach this season.

Dr. Yu doesn’t read this, but I want to thank him and all my other caregivers for helping keep me alive because without their care, I’d probably be dead by now.  Despite their effectiveness, I will not, however, write a “Prayer for chemotherapy.”

Speaking of my health, I suppose some of you read this to get my health update.  Except for neuropathy in my fingers and toes and the some low level pains in my back I feel fine.  I rode my bicycle 105 miles on Saturday so if we use that as my health barometer, my tumors aren’t having much effect on me.  My blood work is normal or close to it so my liver is working well. 

This Sunday I will be marshaling the Transportation Alternatives NYC Century, which means I will be riding 75 miles of the route, fixing flats, putting chains back on, and giving directions.  Hopefully that will be all the work and I won’t be seeing any accidents.

At the Archives, I’ve been working on our calendar, this year’s theme is the Supreme Court and the Constitution, and working on archival videos to put up on YouTube.  The latest is a series of Ed Koch campaign commercials from 1977.  You can watch them and read my commentary at http://laguardiawagnerarchives.blogspot.com/2013/09/1977-ed-koch-campaign-commercials.html 

In other news on the health front, I will be returning to Basel for my next round of radiation treatments, the same treatment I received at the end of July, accompanied by my friend Charlie from October 5-10.  I figure it should be easier this time since I know the lay of the land and will be given Emend, my favorite anti-nausea drug.  Look for my updates as I sit around jet lagged and irradiated with nothing else to do. 

P.S.  I put photos of our Alaska trip online.  You can see them at:  http://www.flickr.com/photos/mslevine3/sets/72157635167536852/